Into this pain

I knew one day during this cancer journey, that at some point, I'd likely be curled up in a ball of pain.

It happened a few weeks ago after a shot of Neupogen, a medicine to spur my white blood cell count. It brought about excruciating pain in my joints and bones.

In the middle of that pain, I realized I have a choice. Stay inward, focused on the pain and my needs - or direct my eyes to the Lord and honestly cry out to Him. I know many of you are in even worse kinds of turmoil, uncertainty or pain and I pray this poem over you as you put one foot in front of the other.

Into this Pain I Want to Crawl

Into this pain I want to crawl

And hide beneath a darkened shawl

To not recall the good before

But curl up tight upon the floor

Yet oftentimes this is the way

To lay so still and get away

But not from God or Spirit’s aid

Tis near Their side I often stayed

To lean my head toward the sky

To tell my God “I know not why

This pain it hurts and digs beneath

Deep inside to bones and teeth

But in the midst of all these pains

My heart it wants to ‘er sustain

The love I know You have for me

That came from Calvary’s sacred tree

Where pain cried out as none before

Where You sought God and didn’t ignore

The path he had for you that day

Help me Lord to think this way

To not remove my eyes from Thee

To pray for grace on bended knee

To thank you for my blessed life

‘Er close to You within the strife

WGS 8/8/21